Of course you won’t have fun EVERY time, geez, aren’t you taking me a little to literal here? I simply meant, if you show up expecting to have fun you probably will, but if you show up expecting things to suck they probably will as well.

One of my favorite sayings is “You have the choice to think you can or think you can’t, either way you are probably right”.

Did I tell you how to feel? That was not my intent, my intent was to propose a new approach to a situation, not how you should feel. But everyone should banish all negative thoughts immediately. Why be miserable? Life is way too short to be miserable. Maybe since I rode upside down on I-4 at 80MPH I am a little silly about this, but life really is too short to live it in misery. My brush with death taught me that.

“thinking person’s blog?” I have never had anyone say that before! Thanks, I think…..lol.

I totally agree with you that attitude is very important, although I think it is possible that you ascribe more power to it than it actually wields. (“If you show up expecting to have fun, then you are going to find fun all around you,” for example–this might be true sometimes, perhaps even many times, maybe even most of the time. But sometimes? It will not be true. Attitude is not a magic wand.)

And no, I am not saying don’t try to brighten people’s days. Yes, try to brighten them–but not by telling them how to feel, or by instructing them to have a positive attitude. That will have the opposite effect in many (not all) cases.

Did I come across with hostility? Sorry about that. I’m actually very positive, and I do believe very strongly that we make choices all the time that affect our reality. But I really, really hate it when people tell me how to feel. (And it happens all the time! “Calm down!” “Don’t cry!” “Smile!” “Don’t feel bad; it’ll be OK.” AAaaaarrrrgggghhhh!

I know you were not specifically talking about unfortunate events–but it’s all related. And I totally agree with you that your expectations about conflict and hostility can definitely affect the outcome of an interaction.

I just re-read your entire post, and I can see that I really focused on one or two minor points instead of the post’s overall message. Silly me.

BTW, I love your mission statement.

And your blog is a thinking person’s blog, in spite of your self-deprecation. Here’s a link to some quotes from Norman Vincent Peale that will totally make you wet your pants with happiness: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/n/norman_vincent_peale.html

Peace out.

Attitude is very very very important. I had a coach tell me tonight that you drive around all your life and don’t notice any tahoes on the road. Then you buy a tahoe, and suddenly, everyone has a tahoe. When you bought it, you thought you were unique, but come to find out, all the tahoes were hiding there right in front of your face.

If you show up expecting to get screwed, then you are going to see screwing going on all around you. If you show up expecting to have fun, then you are going to find fun all around you.

So you are saying I should not try to brighten people’s days? I should just let them be miserable? On my personal mission statement, the very first item is “I will enrich the lives of others by unselfishly giving of myself in a way that improves their lives in some simple way”.

I am not talking about unfortunate events, I am talking about showing up “ready for a fight”. I see it all the time. I had an old girlfriend who used to quote her mother all the time by saying “if you go looking for trouble, you are going to find it”. How true is that statement?

I find your comments interesting and somewhat perplexing coming from you. Did you have a bad day? Do you need a hug? How about a smile? Look in the mirror! I just made you smile!

One. The Secret. Isn’t it just Norman Vincent Peale re-packaged? Is there anything new or profound about it?

Two. Attitude is NOT everything. Some people (not naming any names) take the “attitude is everything” motto too far. Attitude is just one thing, and it can certainly influence your experience and your emotional outlook. But it’s not everything. Sometimes bad things happen, and a good attitude won’t make your pain or sorrow go away.

Also, attitude is something you can work on for your own self–but my feeling is, you can’t go around telling other people to improve their attitude. It’s disprespectful to the feelings they are feeling.

Here’s a post I wrote awhile ago about this whole subject: http://greenroomthoughts.blogspot.com/2007/06/chemo-update-inspiring-nausea.html

Thanks for letting me vent! I feel all better now.