Girls Must Be Social
I have often wondered why my softball teams would play so well when I had them dead to rights before the game would start. They would chitty-chatty during the entire warm up session, and then, when it came time to play, they got down to business. Then when we were strict from the beginning, they would not perform. This video provides some insight into the reason.
My favorite quote from the video: “Boys must play well to feel good, girls must feel good to play well.”
That is brilliant!
Anyway, enjoy.
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Water Under the Bridge
Two weeks ago we had a major incident in a game that involved a team and a league with which I have very much respect. They are our closest friends, as far as competitive leagues go, and we often help each other out. It was an unfortunate and disturbing situation that could have festered and grown into a long-term feud.
Today we had to play the same team again. Our coaching staff and team made a conscious decision to “let bygones be bygones” and just show up, play our best, and allow the kids to have fun no matter what the circumstances. It seems their team did the same and, even though we lost the game, we had a fantastic time at their park.
Again Ms. Peevie, both teams truly had a choice. I will repeat again what one of my old girlfriends used to say quoting her mother, “If you are looking for trouble, you will find it.” This is so true. I would translate that to this situation as “If you are looking for a fight, you will find it.” Had either team shown up “looking for a fight” they probably would have found it somewhere.
But that’s not what happened. What happened is all the adults involved took the high road and taught the kids on both teams how to put our differences aside, focus on the objective at hand, and just go out there and play the game. This was obvious from the time warm ups started and I am proud to say that I was part of it.
How many times in your life have you had a dispute, argument, disagreement, or outright fight with another person, only to end up being best friends? Why is it that this happens? So often we look to that person next to us and say to ourselves, “How did I ever end up teaming up w/ this guy?” My assistant coach during the spring is a guy I have the utmost respect for, but when we were on different teams we were always at odds. Now together, we are very powerful.
Who was it that said, “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?” So what happens when our enemies become our friends? What human dynamic causes this to occur so often? Passion is an emotion from which we derive so much pleasure, but it is also a major cause of dispute. This is prevalent throughout all societies.
My first Real Estate instructor was the most colorful instructor I ever studied under. He used to take the boring legal parts of the real estate game and paint them with passion so vivid that his students would get lost in the particular dispute he was discussing. He would always end every one with one or the other parties saying, “it’s the principal of the thing.” At this point he suggested we pack our stuff up, walk out of the room, and let the attorneys figure it out since they were the only ones who were going to get paid now anyway.
Coaches are passionate about their teams, parents are passionate about their kids, kids are passionate about the game, this is a recipe for conflict. If we recognize and understand this, we can overcome anything that occurs “on the field.”
I preach to my kids every game, “what is the most important pitch?”. The next one of course. We can’t change the one before it no matter what the outcome. Therefore, if we as the adults put prior “pitches” behind us and focus on “the next pitch”, we are certainly better off. If we hold on to hostilities, no matter how justified, we are simply “looking for trouble”. Do we really want trouble? Is this what we want to teach our kids? Do we tell our kids as they go off to school, “go get in trouble today honey.” Of course not, we say “have a nice day”, or some other semblance of good wishes.
So why do we so often show up at games “looking for trouble”? Don’t we know we are certain to find it? Today anyway, everyone involved decided to put our troubles behind us and let the kids enjoy the game. I am proud to say I was a small part of this situation and know in the future, our relationship with this particular league remains in tact, as it should.
Who is your best friend right now that you fought with initially? Please tell us the story, we would love to hear it!
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Second Softball Win
Well, at least now every one of my teams will have won at least one game. Excruciating victory tonight. We won by a field goal 28-25. We hit the ball well, but walked quite a few. Getting better though, and that is the goal of the season, for each player to improve. They are showing noticeable improvement and I am proud of them.
I am also proud of the way the other coach and I smoothed out a few differences we had. We have actually become fairly good friends and confidants of each other. Tis better to speak and work things out, than hold in hostilities and let them brew. Made tonight’s game enjoyable and pleasurable, had we not been “grown ups” about this, it probably would have been ugly. Who would have suffered? The girls of course! Instead, they came, they played, they smiled, they laughed, they had fun, as did I. Hopefully everyone else concurs.
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Playing Better While Getting Creamed
Today we played a Senior Softball game against the same team we played a week ago. Last week we had a close game and a chance to win, but it wasn’t any fun at all. Tonight, we got creamed, but the kids had more fun and made more plays than when we were in a close battle. More action, more fun, more learning.
Our seniors team is very young. We are 13 year olds playing against 14/15/16 year old teams so we don’t really expect to win a whole lot, but we do expect to compete. The objectives at the beginning of the season were for each of the players to improve, I believe that has already happened in two games. We can only go up from here.
This particular group of girls is my favorite that I have ever coached. Hopefully we can keep them together for a long time, then in years from now, we will be the undefeated ones. They have come a long way in a short time and I am proud of each of them.
Have you ever had a group of kids you just loved to be around? What made them special to you?
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Chess Vs. Checkers
I was chatting w/ a friend of mine on the phone tonight and he shared this story with me. It is something he picked up at a sports psychology workshop and it is flat out brilliant!
The speaker was discussing how to deal with each player on your team. He acknowledged that many coaches try and deal with each player on their team in the same manner. He pointed out that this is a bad approach as each person responds to different stimuli and there is no “good for all” solution. I have already preached this, but rarely have I hear it painted so vividly.
The story goes like this. When you open a checkers set and a chess set, you notice that the playing fields are identical, but the games and strategies are completely different. In the game of checkers, all pieces move identically and live by the same rules of the game. Chess, on the other hand, has unique pieces that each hold a specific responsibility and each contribute differently to the game with a common goal in mind.
If you treat your team as a checker’s game, and try to fit every kid into the same mold. Training them all identically, disciplining identically, and rewarding identically, your team’s potential will be limited. On the other hand, if you recognize that your team is comprised of 12 different personalities and abilities, or chess pieces, it becomes obvious that each must receive unique treatment.
This is not to say that some players get away with misconduct. On the contrary, what is the objective? Success. Some kids require a shout, some a pat on the back, some a hug. Each child is unique and needs the proper motivational technique. After all, if you have 12 motivated players, trained as a well oiled machine, each functioning independently in unison, you have the potential for greatness!
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We Are The Champions, My Friend
A Guest Post from
(AKA E. Peevie of the Green Room )
You’ve been following the debate , of course, about whether or not I should bring C. Peevie back to Chicago from our idyllic vacation resort in South Haven for the final Little League championship game.
Well, as I reported in The Green Room (http://greenroomthoughts.blogspot.com/2008/07/we-are-champions.html ), the family was supportive, so we made the hot, un-air-conditioned drive, and arrived with about an hour to spare. I got comfortable in my folding camp chair in prime real estate behind the Brewers’ bench, where I sat for exactly one scoreless inning.
Then C. Peevie got up to bat with one runner on base and one out in the top of the second. I’ve mentioned that he’s been struggling at the plate, and when he whiffed the first pitch, my stomach lurched.
Moments later my boy scorched a line drive over the third baseman’s head and past the left fielder for a triple—driving in the first run of the game. I left my middle-aged mom self behind and jumped about 17 feet in the air. “Go, Zeusk*!” I screamed. “Run like the wind!”
C. Peevie has many strengths, abilities and assets. Speed is not one of them. And yet that boy—my boy—pulled off a triple, setting the stage for two more runs that inning. The Brewers led until the fifth inning, when the Twins pulled ahead by one run. By the end of the fifth inning, every fan on both sides of the field was standing, cheering every pitch, every play, every blink.
Coach Lou moved C. Peevie around, starting him in left, playing him in center and right, and a couple of innings at first base. Sometime around the sixth inning, he fielded a sharply hit ground ball about eight feet from the first base bag. He knocked it down, and fumbled it for a second. The crowd roared.
Then we saw the kind of smart teamwork that coaches dream about: C. Peevie realized he couldn’t pick up the ball and get back to the bag quickly enough to make the out. Abandoning his feckless fumbling, he darted to the bag. Meanwhile, the second baseman, in heads-up play, scooped up the ball and tossed it over to C. P. at first for the out. On the Brewers’ sidelines, we passed the defibrillator down the row.
Finally, in the bottom of the seventh, the Brewers faced a desperate one-run deficit. Batting for the last time in regulation play, the Coach’s son Tommygun led off, smartly accepting a walk. He easily stole second on a dropped pitch, and the fans urged the batter, my friend ChefKat’s son and wielder of a Big Bat, Nick, to bring him home.
Another dropped pitch, and Tommygun headed for third! We all stopped breathing, and yet somehow we were screaming at the same time! The Twins’ catcher threw the runner out, and we were two outs away from earning a respectable but disappointing second place trophy.
Big Bat Nick came through with a crucial single, and the next batter drove him home, tying the game four-four. We held them in the bottom of the seventh and went into extra innings. Honestly, I do not even remember any details after this point, probably because my brain was too deprived of oxygen, except that there was no score in the eighth, and the Brewers scored three runs in the ninth, and held the Twins scoreless to take the crown.
The boys celebrated with zero-proof champagne, and the adults celebrated with real bubbly. I was so grateful that C. Peevie had this experience, and I do believe the Little League Coach is right: it will remain distinct in his memory for many years, and perhaps even for the rest of his life.
And now I’ve made a deposit in my memory bank as well, one that will make me grin every time I revisit it. The trip was definitely worth it.
*Zeuskarelli is my weird and unlikely nickname for C. Peevie.
(Read more from The Little League Mom, AKA E. Peevie, in The Green Room , where she writes about parenting, politics, and other p- and non-p topics, and even posts a little poetry periodically.)
We Are Ready!
Image via Wikipedia
After rain yesterday delayed our entire district’s tournaments by a day, we are ready to play our first game tomorrow. We have worked hard, hit hard, bled, sweat, and gone home dirty every night. My girls know the key to winning championships , my montra ’s are:
What is the most important pitch? The next one.
What wins championships? Blood, sweat, dirt, heart.
What do we play with? Head and Focus.
They know it all, they know what to do, they hit, they field , and pitch. We have put them in a position to win , it is up to them to perform. I have full faith in their abilities, they must have faith in themselves.
They do.
How do you teach your kids to believe in themselves?
Sometimes They Don’t Show Up
Image by The Celebrated Mr. K via Flickr
One of the most valuable lessons that Little League teaches, more than other sports I believe, is that if you don’t show up, you can’t win. Kids are good at this, they show up thinking they will win, take an opponent light, or simply don’t give it their all. When they do this it is during a big game our tournament and inevitably they lose.
Great life lesson, hard for the parents to take. We have to remember that this is why we sign them up, to learn tough lessons like this.
What is the toughest lesson your kid has ever learned in sports?
Play Like You Know You Can
Image via Wikipedia
Worthy Opponent
First, I would like to thank our opponent and congratulate them on being such a formidable opponent. We play a five game series to determine who will represent our league in a district-wide Tournament of Champions (TOC) and it took five games to determine a winner! They were truly a worthy opponent. Young too, they will be VERY good next year.
Girls Showed Up
Tonight our girls decided they were going to play as good as they are truly capable of. It was an awesome spectacle to watch. While we had struggled holding it together in prior games, tonight they were clicking on all cylinders. Our pitcher was on all night, and we made all the routine plays we are supposed to make. Our hitting rarely fails us, and tonight that was the case again, so we hit well and scored 10 runs.
It was fun to sit back and watch the confidence they played with tonight. I hope they take that confidence into the TOC next week. Do you have a story of confidence? Please share it.
The Calm Weekend Before the Storm!
Image via Wikipedia
That Time of the Year
It is that time of the year! Wrapping up the seasons, cramming games into the end of the year and praying for no rain! (Though we really could use rain here, how about only rain after 10PM?). Every league is pretty much the same this time of the year and things really start to get fun.
Sit Back and Enjoy
This is the time where a coach gets to sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labors. I told a couple of people the other day that "you will see things you didn’t think possible over the next couple of weeks". The middle of the season starts to drag a bit, and the kids drop off here and there, but introduce tournaments, top teams, championships, and trophies and suddenly they focus! Not only do they focus, they actually implement what you have been teaching them all year! That’s the fun part!
The Inevitable Upset
Inevitably a team that hasn’t won very many games knocks someone off, a kid that hasn’t hit all year gets in a game winning situation and succeeds! A pitcher that a manager is forced into using strikes out a home run king. I kid that has never caught a fly ball in his life makes a diving catch. These times is fun!!!!!!!
My Schedule
Here is my schedule, I am sure you can relate:
Tuesday: Top Team Tournament Game
Wednesday: Minor Tournament Game
Thursday: Top Team Tournament Game
Friday: Practice
Saturday: 2 Practices
Sunday: Practice
Monday: Potential Minor Tournament Game/Potential Tournament of Champions Game
Tuesday: Potential Minor Tournament Game/Potential Tournament of Champions Game
Wednesday: Potential Minor Tournament Game/Potential Tournament of Champions Game
Thursday: Potential Minor Tournament Game/Potential Tournament of Champions Game
It doesn’t stop there, I am just not sure where it goes!
Play Ball
The great thing about this time of year, the kids know what they are doing today. Playing ball! Tomorrow? Playing ball!, the next day? Playing ball! They tend to stay very focused.
10 Minutes of Mourning
To all out there who are entering your busy time, good luck! But remember to look over at your kids 10 minutes after you lose or are eliminated, what are they doing? Running around playing w/ the other team w/ smiles on their faces of course!!!!
How busy is your schedule? Let’s hear it!
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