They are only Children

We have to remember that the children we are coaching are just that, children. They are sponges that absorb everything around them. Probably more so than most of us would like to admit to ourselves even. They also probably learn more from our actions than from our statements. Lord knows they only listen to half of what we say, but they watch our every move.

Encourage, Encourage, Encourage

What are we to do? Encourage, encourage, encourage. What do we accomplish by shouting a kid down? I remember umpiring an All-Star game. A shortstop had a play in front of him where he missed the tag. A common error, but an error nonetheless. He was already upset, and needed to know that this error wasn’t the end of the world. It probably seemed that to the kid at the time.

Embarrassing Humiliation

His father stood outside the fence and screamed at him. "How could you do that, what is wrong w/ you" is what he hollered. As if that weren’t enough, he proceeded to yell at the kid even though he was crying and very visibly upset. But what made my jaw drop was when the father started yelling "what is the matter?, are you a sissy boy?, why are you crying sissy boy?". I couldn’t believe it. The kid was playing in the 10/11 division so he couldn’t have been older than 11.

This was very loud also! Everyone in the park could hear it, why would he humiliate him so? It made me sick to my stomach. What was I do to though? I know you will say I should have said something, but he really wasn’t doing anything illegal. I was the umpire in an all-star game, if i said something it would have caused a very big scene and I may have ended up on Gretta for causing a riot!

A Better Solution

How could this have been handled better? How about yelling at him, "that’s OK, that play is behind you, now get over it and make the next one". He was the shortstop after all, he had to be one of the best players on the team. Why not remind him that there was actually "no harm done" because the runner only advanced to third anyway! Tell him that the next play he was going to get a double play!

This would have given him great confidence, security to know that even though he made an error, everyone does, move on and make a play the next time. He would have mentally recovered and prepared for the very next pitch, almost a duplicate play. This time he bobbled the ball and didn’t get the out. How can we mark error Dad in the scorebook?

Build Them Up

We have to remember that we are not here to tear kids down. How easy a task is that? Anyone can yell at a kid and make them cry! But how many of us can take a kid that just made a major error and make them grow from it? Make them better because of their mistakes? That is what it is all about, make them better, build them up, don’t tear them down. That’s just plain bullying.

Does anyone have a story where you took a kid that was struggling and made them better? How about one where after a major blunder, he saved the game, got a key hit, or home run? Could anything be better than the smile on that kid’s face? Think about the one on yours! Could you wipe that off? I think not. Please share!

Related posts that may interest you: