Just because someone criticizes you doesn’t mean they hate you.
I am a controversial figure. My entire life has been spent in controversy. I don’t know why, maybe because I speak my mind? Maybe because I think I know everything? Maybe because I can quote the entire rulebook word for word? Maybe because I demand respect from my players and they know it from the glare I give them when they lack it? Maybe because I don’t tolerate mental errors, not paying attention when a coach is talking, or missing signals? Maybe I am really just an ass, that’s entirely possible, but just because someone criticizes you doesn’t mean they hate you.
Those who serve on Little League boards, or any boards for that matter, soon come to understand that anything anyone thinks is wrong w/ the organization quickly becomes your fault. You get blamed for everything. As the information officer of my league, and therefor the public face of the league, I receive and inordinate amount of the criticism for things in disarray, controversial decisions, or accusations from the rumor mill.
But lately I have noticed a trend that I find upsetting. My theory on this is we all communicate way too much. In the good ole days (feeling like grandpa now), you used to go to work, go to a game, and go home. You saw people along the way, said hi, were cordial, but went on about your life. Of course there was plenty of gossip, but it was contained to face-to-face discussions and the occasional telephone conversation. Which included talking to ONLY one person at a time. Everyone else got a busy tone when they tried to call if you were talking to someone else.
Therefore, if you said something like, “I don’t like the way Rick spoke to my daughter tonight”, the other person said what they had to say, and then went home. Well, in today’s world, little comments like that are exaggerated big time!
How many times have you heard a parent talk about all the “drama” going on w/ their kid at school, on the field, or in the local play? It is like gossip on steroids these days. The ability to say something, instantly text it to thousands of people, or post on your facebook account for the world to see is mind boggling! I really don’t know how the teenagers of today cope w/ it. We had it much easier than they do.
That said, just because someone doesn’t agree with you, says something derogatory about you, or gossips about you, doesn’t mean they hate you. Everyone seems to focus on the negative statements because they are more flamboyant. How boring is it to tell your friend that “jane said you are a good coach”. It is much more sensational to say, “Jane said you yell too much, she hates you”. How do those two statements coexist?
Let’s assume that the first part of the comment is correct. “Jane said you yell too much”. Maybe you do yell too much, I think my wife yells too much, does that mean I hate her? Of course not! I love my wife dearly, she is the finest piece of booty on the planet! That doesn’t mean I have to approve of everything she does. So how do we make the connection from the criticism of yelling too much, to the part where hate comes in? There is none to be made.
So, I choose to believe everyone loves me, because deep down inside, how could you not? I am good looking, personable, funny, witty, and a fantastic friend! At least that’s the way I see it!…lol. So no matter how much you criticize, how many stones you throw my way, how much aspersion you cast, you can’t break me down, I am stronger than that, and once you get to know me, you love me unconditionally. I feel the same about you, no matter who you are, I will find good in you.
Roger Waters of Pink Floyd said it best, “all it all it’s just another brick in the wall”.
What keeps you positive in the face of adversity? How do you stay focused?
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You lost me when you referred to your wife as “the finest piece of booty on the planet”. Now you could be casting bait to see who rises to it. But I think that an article about turning the other cheek, tolerance and focusing on what is important could have used a more respectful comment than what some gangsta rappah (sic) would have said….Mike
Mike,
Thank you for your comment and I can see how you would feel that way. My wife, on the other hand, would not feel any disrespect from this comment at all. It was tongue-in-cheek, not Gangsta Rappah, as you say, I would have had to of used a word completely inappropriate that would have gotten me slapped by my wife for sure! Something referencing a professional I believe?
Thanks for your comment, but if you read all my other articles you will see I am never Mr. 100% serious. Never want to be. Life is fun, aren’t you passing judgment on me reading an article you are agreeing about that we should not pass judgment?
I am only commenting on a blemish on an otherwise well written commentary. I will check out your other postings. If not for that comment I might have posted it on our little league website. I guess I am olde (sic) school. Thanks.